This isn’t play anymore, it’s a full-on obsession

Some dogs give you a look that says everything. No need for words. Their favorite toy is sitting two feet away like a sacred object, and their entire being is locked onto it. It might look like love, but it’s more than that. Tighter. Sharper. Almost spiritual. A kind of devotion. Or maybe a perfectly legal, soft-core addiction.

A group of researchers decided to dig into this—not to judge, but to try and understand what’s really going on when a dog seems to live for just one thing. Their main question was simple but serious: can a dog actually get addicted to a toy?

A legit study about a topic that usually gets brushed off

It might sound silly at first, but it’s real science. The study, published in 2025 on Nature.com, looked at 105 dogs, all described by their humans as “super into toys.” Not just playful. Super into it. Dogs who orbit their favorite ball like it’s the center of their universe. The kind who don’t respond to their name when the toy’s in sight. Who ignore food, forget their dog friends, and sit in front of the toy bin like a heartbroken ex waiting at someone’s door.

First test: show them the toy, but don’t give it to them. Yes, it’s cruel. Yes, it’s science. The result? About a third of the dogs had a moment: intense staring, tuning everything out, whining, pacing. A few tried to break into the locked toy box. Two actually managed to break it open. So… yeah.

Then they asked the humans

The researchers also sent out a questionnaire to the owners, and that’s where things got interesting. Many of the behaviors they described sounded a lot like what we’d call addiction in humans. That habit of finding joy in just one thing, and nothing else.

When separated from the toy, these dogs enter a kind of limbo: buzzing with anticipation, overstimulated, visibly frustrated. They seem stuck on pause until the magic drawer opens. And once their “my precious” comes out? They turn into missiles. Laser-focused, nothing else exists. Not you, not other dogs, not trees, not cuddles—just the toy.

Is it addiction? Or just high enthusiasm?

Are we really talking about addiction?

The researchers prefer the term “addictive-like behaviour.” It’s more careful, more respectful. You’re not about to diagnose a border collie with a psychiatric condition just because he’s laser-focused on a tennis ball, but what they did observe was real:

• Craving – that intense need
• Salience – everything else fades into the background
• Loss of control
• Mood modification – depending on whether the toy is around

And if this all sounds kind of funny, know that for some dogs, it’s really not. They can injure themselves from the constant repetitive movements, struggle with frustration, and spin endlessly in the same loop, like a scratched record that never resets. And in dog years, that’s a long time to be stuck skipping.

High-drive dogs: brilliant, intense and mentally fried

So who’s most affected? The so-called “high drive” dogs. The working breeds, the elite athletes, the overachievers in fur coats: border collies, malinois, jack russells… The ones we praise for their intelligence, focus, and drive. But here’s the flip side: those same qualities, if not channeled properly, can spiral fast.

Put them in a typical home, with a normal family and a way too calm daily routine, and suddenly it’s too quiet, too still, too little stimulation. That brilliant mind turns inward. The intensity we admire? It starts eating them alive. And that’s when the toy becomes more than a toy. It becomes a ritual, a coping mechanism. The one thing that keeps them alive.

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Should you be worried?

No—if your dog just loves fetch. Yes—if fetch is the only thing they want to do.

As long as your dog can still find joy in a bunch of things, you’re good. If they can play in different ways, explore, sniff, wander, flirt with the breeze, mess around with other dogs, great. But if they’re always waiting for that one toy, at that one time, with that same trembling focus, then yeah, maybe it’s worth taking a closer look.

Like one of my clients’ border collie: the second they arrive at the park, he freezes in that classic collie stance—part yoga pose, part Olympic sprinter—waiting for the ball that’s still zipped inside her bag. He can hold that pose for the entire walk, and if she doesn’t give in, he’ll just trot over to strangers, drop a random branch at their feet, and beg them to throw it.

What this study really says

At the core, it’s about something pretty human: how the desire to make someone happy can get off-track.

The game that was supposed to bring you closer becomes a kind of escape. The human throws, the dog runs again, and again, and again, and we call it bonding. But sometimes, it’s just a spiral, and at that point, the toy is no longer a toy, it becomes a symptom.

And we cheer. We film. “Look at him go! He could do this for hours!” Yep. And that might actually be the problem. 

Source :

Mazzini, A., Senn, K., Monteleone, F. et al. Addictive-like behavioural traits in pet dogs with extreme motivation for toy play. Sci Rep 15, 32613 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-025-18636-0

Growing with Your Dog: A Human and Spiritual Journey

Whether we’re professional dog behaviorists or simply lucky enough to share our life with a dog, when it comes to raising, guiding, or navigating the many challenges of a relationship built on two languages, two histories, and a thousand misunderstandings, we’re called to open our eyes—and our hearts—in a different way.

We’re not here to “program” a dog to match some idealized version of a perfect pet, nor to “fix” them like a machine that isn’t meeting our expectations. We’re not even just here to understand them. What’s required of us is something deeper, something more personal—and it starts within.

As long as we don’t truly listen to ourselves, we can’t really listen to anyone else—dog or human. The world is a mirror. Everything resonates. Everything teaches us something about who we are. If we can’t recognize within ourselves what trembles, what doubts, or what resists, then what we believe we see in the other may just be a distorted reflection, a projection, biased and unfair.

The Emotional Intelligence of Dogs: A Model for Us All

Dogs, on the other hand, feel. They feel without filters, without defense, in a continuous flow we’ve largely forgotten. While we filter our emotions through reason, language, and the gaze of others, they take in everything—what we express, what we suppress, and what slips through the cracks.

They perceive the world unfiltered—no social masks, no mental constructs. They receive, in its rawest form, the truth of our presence. They sense our limits, our impulses, our silent anger and hidden fears. And often, they reflect them back through their own behavior—a faithful, uncompromising mirror. They don’t speak, but they know. And it’s this instinctive clarity that makes them such remarkable guides.

What Our Dogs Teach Us Without Words

Every dog I’ve ever met has changed me—often without me realizing it. The ones I’ve loved, the ones I’ve fostered—they’ve all left a unique imprint on me.

There were times in my life when I wasn’t ready to see what they were offering. Those are the relationships I carry the most regret for—the memories and the awareness of the mistakes I made. Other times, I could see it clearly, in the moment, as plain truth. And then there are the lessons that passed silently through me, lessons I only understood long after they were gone, as if their memory had slowly cast light on me—from within.

A dog is a singular kind of teacher, whose lessons demand a rare kind of humility—the kind that requires us to face ourselves, without shame, without pretense, and to dare to fully inhabit our own cracks and flaws so we can, in turn, welcome those of another. It’s in that shared vulnerability that real connection is born. And it’s there, precisely there, that the real work begins—the remarkable work that, if we do it well, allows us to grow with—or maybe thanks to—them. 🐾🖤

There Are No Coincidences, Especially With Dogs

Have you ever heard the saying, “There are no coincidences in life”? I think it was made for dogs.

It might sound a little mystical, but if you take a closer look, it’s hard not to admit that certain encounters—canine or otherwise—seem to carry a meaning deeper than logic. A dog is never “just a dog.” They’re companions, yes, but also mirrors, catalysts, emotional echoes, and, more often than not, teachers. Some nudge us toward change. Some help us heal. All of them leave us changed.

The Dog That Chooses Us

Popular wisdom says we choose our dogs. We scroll through shelter listings, click on a picture, fall for a sweet face behind a kennel door. We believe the choice is ours. But anyone who’s truly experienced one of these encounters knows—that’s not the whole story. Sometimes there’s a look. Something immediate. An invisible thread pulled taut in a heartbeat that says: you and me—it’s time.

Some dogs walk right up to you like they’ve known you forever. Others hang back, eyes fixed on yours, waiting to be seen. Some follow you until you give in. Others just hop into your car like they’ve always belonged there.

Sometimes, that dog wasn’t part of the plan. Wrong timing, wrong breed, wrong energy, wrong everything. And yet, there they are. Not forcing their way in, just fitting—as though life, or fate, or the strange choreography of existence, had meant for it to happen all along.

In moments like that, it’s hard to believe in randomness. Hard to think it’s just luck that you ended up with that dog, with that soul,with all their baggage and their brilliance.

It’s No Coincidence If Our Dog Becomes a Mirror

One of the strangest things about dogs is how much they reflect us—not physically, though sometimes that happens too—but emotionally. Dogs, with their unfiltered presence, absorb everything we are. They pick up what we suppress, mirror what we vaguely feel, and hold it all without judgment. They become it, in some strange way.

Some of them resemble us too closely: the hypersensitive, the anxious, the wary, the on-edge. These are often the hardest to live with—because they hold up a mirror we can’t ignore. They force us to do the work, to become the humans they need. We watch them tremble, or bark, or flinch, and some quiet voice inside us says: That stress, it’s mine, too.

Others complete us. Through their calm or steady nature, they bring balance, showing us a different rhythm, another way to be. They don’t ask for much—just presence, consistency. And maybe that’s the most powerful lesson of all.

Dogs Are the Best Teachers

Dogs are excellent teachers. Not because they mean to be, but because by simply existing alongside us, they transform the way we move through life. They force us to slow down. To look up. To listen. To feel. To be — differently.

Some teach us patience. Others, how to let go. Some drag us out of our comfort zones. Others show us the cracks we didn’t know were still there. But always, the lesson is there—if we’re willing to hear it.

Lola

I used to be the anxious type. The avoid-eye-contact, keep-it-brief, “Yes, I’m fine thanks” kind of person. Then one day, Lola came along.

A sweet but deeply fearful dog adopted from the shelter — a Brittany Spaniel mix who had spent the first four years of her life tied up in a yard, with no shelter, no company, no love, nothing.

My Lola was so scared that I had no choice but to rise to meet her.

This was before I became a dog behaviorist. Back then, I wanted to help her, but I didn’t know how. I made mistakes. I also got some bad advice from a trainer whose methods were outdated. I wasn’t in a good place emotionally, and that didn’t help either. But one thing was clear: if I kept showing the same fear of the world that she did, we’d go nowhere.

So I pulled myself together. I forced myself to face everything I had spent my life avoiding: people. I started reaching out. Literally. I began talking to strangers on the street—just to help her get used to people. I gave people treats to offer her, so she could start to see strangers as friends. I told them her story, I did my best to muster some social enthusiasm — for her sake, and maybe for mine too.

At first, it was brutal. I was sweating, my heart pounding. But since I walked Lola every day, I had to face my demons every day. And slowly, something shifted. I started to relax. Surprisingly, I found myself enjoying it — finding beauty in those small human exchanges, in the kind looks, in the shared vulnerability of a timid little dog.

More than anything, helping my Lola become a confident, sociable, joyful, and adventurous dog gave me a little more confidence in myself too.

Lola

Baya

Lola passed away suddenly, on New Year’s Day — after two incredibly hard years. Her loss gutted me. I shut down. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to feel.

If you’ve never lost a dog, this probably sounds dramatic. If you have, you understand.

One morning, I was lying in bed, scrolling through Facebook, cursing life and cancer, I saw a post: a dog needed emergency foster care.

Some quiet voice inside me — maybe survival instinct, maybe something else — made me send an email to the listed contact, like I was on autopilot. I had never fostered before. I had no idea what it would involve. The dog looked huge. It wasn’t the right time. I wasn’t even sure I really wanted to. And yet, two minutes later, my message was off into the digital void.

SOS Death Row

The next day, I got a call: that dog had found a foster and was safe. “But we have another one,” they said. “She’s still at the pound. No one wants her. She’s scheduled to be euthanized.”

The photo they sent showed a frail, bony body and an oversized head with a worried expression — a pit bull.

“OK,” I heard myself say like someone else had spoken for me. “I’ll take her.”

The next day, I picked up Baya from the pound. Still in autopilot mode, but this time with a flicker of something like hope.

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Don’t judge a book by its cover

Ah, Baya. First, I had to pull myself out of my depression for her. Then, I had to open the door and actually go outside.

She was a fearful but imposing pit bull — judged and condemned at first glance. She was afraid of everything and let out a low growl to keep danger at bay. Have you ever heard a pit bull growl? It’s not something you forget.

Wherever we went, people crossed the street. They whispered, tightened their grip on their kids, scooped up their tiny dogs, as if death itself was coming their way. Some even made unnecessary, nasty comments. Pure ignorance.

So I had to be her ambassador. I started looking passersby straight in the eye. I smiled — even if it gave me cramps in my cheeks. I spoke first. I tried to show them that this so-called “dangerous creature,” judged on her looks alone, was actually nothing but a soft heart in a blocky body, a sweetheart behind the stereotype.

Once again—I saw myself in her. I’m tall. I have dark hair and dark eyes. I’ve often been told that if I don’t smile, I seem cold or distant. Not true—but perception sticks. We both had to fight to be seen for who we really are.

People were kind to her. Some let their dogs play with her. Some even gave her hugs. Others came over just to talk, curious — because yes, she really was impressive. A whole bus full of riot police once took selfies with her. A funny memory.

And little by little, my smart, sensitive Baya bloomed into a brave, joyful, confident dog. I only had her for three short months before she found her forever family, but I can honestly say that thanks to her, I met more people in one winter than I had in my entire life.

Two Dogs, One Path

Baya picked up where Lola had left off. She taught me to stop hiding, to reach out to others, to smile, to open up, to take up space gently, and to find and embrace my own sense of calm. And thanks to her, I knew. I wanted to change careers. I wanted to become an dog trainer and behaviorist. Without her, you wouldn’t be reading this today.

Baya

What If Their Purpose Is to Transform Us?

I’ve heard the same story a hundred times in different forms: someone adopts a dog “jusr because.” Because it was there. Because it needed saving. Because they just couldn’t leave it behind. They thought they were offering shelter, food, a little love — only to realize later that it was the dog who saved them. But over time, they realize—it was the dog who saved them.

Maybe that’s the real truth: dogs aren’t here just to be loved. They’re here to take part in our stories. They push us to grow. To face our fears. To transform.

Sometimes they show up right when everything is falling apart, when something in us needs to shift—when grief hits, when a job ends, when a chapter closes… and there they are. This little creature. And when your eyes meet, something in you knows.

But not every story starts off as the right one.

The “Wrong” Dog That Might Not Have Been

Sometimes we think we made a mistake. The dog’s too difficult. The personalities don’t match. It wasn’t the right time. But maybe those are the very dogs trying to steer us somewhere new. Maybe the saying “there are no coincidences” was made for them.

My first call as a certified behaviorist came from a man whose life was packed to the brim. He had adopted a young Belgian Malinois—brilliant, intense, high-energy dog, in need of work and purpose. The kind of dog that demands attention, consistency, investment. But the dog lived in the yard. Barely went out. Barely played. His owner didn’t have the time. The dog was miserable.

The dog wasn’t “bad.” He was desperate. His message was clear: Come with me. Show up. Be here. Live. He needed someone to slow down, to breathe, to be present. That dog was asking for someone grounded. Someone who could put down the phone, close the laptop, say no to the noise, and breathe. He was asking him to slow down. To exist — here and now.

Was it a mistake to adopt a Malinois in his situation? Yes — absolutely. These dogs are unique. Their needs are immense. And because most people can’t meet them, shelters are full of them.

On top of that, the man made it clear to me that he couldn’t — or wouldn’t? — make the effort I was asking of him. In his mind, it was the dog who had to adapt.

He was my very first client, and also my first failure. A tough lesson to learn: no matter how much you want to, you won’t be able to help every dog that crosses your path.

But if that man had been able to recognize the opportunity he’d been given, he might have seen that what seemed like a mistake was actually calling out something deep in him — a need for change. A sudden, fundamental, necessary change.

There Are No Coincidences— only the right moments, right on time

Saying “there’s no such thing as chance” isn’t about denying life’s chaos. It’s about recognizing that some meetings are too precise to ignore. Some dogs come into our lives and reveal things we didn’t even know we were carrying. Even if their time with us is short — or painful — they leave something behind that makes sense.

Our dogs aren’t perfect. Neither are we. But it’s in that shared imperfection that something quietly powerful happens. They don’t show up to fix us. They show up to show us where the cracks are — and maybe what we could grow from them.

So no, maybe it wasn’t some divine algorithm that matched you with this stubborn little furball. But when you first looked at her, something shifted. A thread pulled tight. And part of you knew.

And maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t chance at all. Maybe it was a quiet invitation—to become a little more yourself. 🐾🖤

Once a graphic designer, songwriter, illustrator, and even an aspiring vet sidelined by a severe allergy to math, today, I’m fluent in dog, both in French and in English, and between barks, I draw it all.

How I became a dog trainer and behaviorist

1. Once a weird kid with a dog, now a weird adult with dogs.

2. When you pick a job that needs you sharp, focused and dedicated, but you’re just creative, distracted, and depleted.

3. When you’ve spent your whole life hating being told what to do, and now you spend it begging a furball to listen to you.

4. Life: “Oh, you didn’t see the signs? No problem, let’s blow everything up until you do.”

5. When life decides it’s time to turn the page, but you weren’t quite ready to leave that chapter behind.

6. Sometimes, when you hit rock bottom, you end up finding your own bedrock.

7. Fostering a dog means loving without owning, getting attached and having to let go. Another lesson life somehow made sure I’d learn.

8. Too many passions, too many sparks, too many ideas, and picking one feels like tearing the others out.

9. Sometimes there’s no plan, no map, not even a compass. All that’s left to do is keep moving forward.

10. I’m still a house with no walls, an unfinished pencil sketch of a plan, and a window set before the ground is even laid, but already, it smells like joy and cookies fresh from the oven. Maybe that’s what life is all about: living in a home you’re still learning to build.

Grieving your dog: a step on the path, not a final goodbye

How long does it take to grieve a dog? There are as many answers to that question as there are people who’ve lost their companion. But one thing everyone who’s been through it agrees on: Losing a dog hurts just as much as losing a member of the family. Because that’s exactly what it is.

It’s the fear of experiencing such pain again that makes us say, “I never want to go through this again.” We say it to protect ourselves, also because it can feel like loving again would betray the one we lost, as if opening our hearts to another dog would erase the memories, routines, and shared rituals with the one who’s gone. And then there’s the phrase often said too quickly: “Are you getting another one?” as if love could ever simply follow a logic of replacement, as if it were that simple.

A big part of grieving is staying open to life

This text isn’t meant to persuade anyone to “get another dog.” Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace, and it’s so important to honor that pace, to move through the stages of grief without letting pain make the decisions for you. My intent is only to gently invite you not to close the door to life just on principle, to a new love that might appear, perhaps sooner than expected, in another form.

Loving a Dog: A Unique and Transformative Bond

Loving a dog means living with a heightened awareness of connection. You’ve probably felt it—that particular animal, that specific dog, wasn’t just random. It entered your life like a shooting star in a dark sky, briefly illuminating everything around you.

The day your dog left, you lost much more than a companion; you lost a part of yourself. The part that knew how to exist with them that laughed at a sleeping muzzle felt safe just by their presence and felt complete simply because they were beside you, filling your world.

That’s why it hurts so deeply—because now you know true, pure love exists, and you’ve just said goodbye. But is that reason enough to avoid recognizing love if it crosses your path again, perhaps sooner than expected?

You loved your dog, and then you lost them. Between these moments, you grew.

Loving an animal means accepting transformation. It’s not a minor detail; it’s alchemy. Dogs are alchemists. Every dog in our life transforms us, helping us become better versions of ourselves.

You’re no longer the same person you were before they came into your life, and what they planted in you isn’t meant to remain stuck or trapped in the past. It’s alive, vibrant, ready to live, vibrate, and grow again.

The Eternal Cycle

In an ideal world, where they wouldn’t be abandoned and their human wouldn’t pass away before them, a dog would have only one life and one family to love unconditionally.

As for you, you have already had and will continue to have multiple loves—multiple journeys, transformations, and stories. Maybe you’ve loved a person before, a child, or a country. Maybe you thought you’d never feel that thrill, happiness, or joy again, yet one day, unexpectedly, it returned differently.

Why would love for dogs be excluded from this strange and beautiful law of renewal?

It’s not about “replacing” anyone. That word is wrong, unfair, and absurd. Can anyone ever replace a childhood, a lost love, or a period of life? We all move forward with our losses, echoes, and nostalgia, with promises we think are gone forever but that return one day, knocking gently on our door—in a different form, with different eyes, on different paws.

What if you haven’t yet reached the end of what the love of dogs has to teach you about yourself? What if the love of this particular dog, who recently left, was just one chapter in your story, a wonderful story destined to continue long after their departure?

Adopting Again: Honoring the Past by Embracing the Future

After such a painful loss, some close their hearts and say, “Never again.” I understand them. It takes courage to let tenderness break through again.

But there are also those who, deep inside, feel that loss isn’t an end, that the bond doesn’t break—it transforms, shifts shape. It becomes a memory, a joy, and a calling.

Perhaps someday, walking down an alley, meeting eyes with a puppy from a litter, or coming across an announcement you weren’t even looking for, that bond will resurface quietly, like a gentle thrill. When that day comes, say yes. Not from emptiness, forgetfulness, or trying to fill a void, but to continue the love story you began and further enrich who you’ve become because of the one who’s no longer here.

How I Said Goodbye to My Dog

When I lost my last dog during one of the most challenging times of my life, I couldn’t consider another adoption immediately. It was already difficult to imagine my life without her, who had stood by me through many trials. The idea of experiencing that bond again—and inevitably its end—felt impossible.

It was her I missed, not simply having a dog.

Suddenly, my life and apartment were filled with emptiness, silence, and absence. Yet, precisely, there was an emptiness—a place waiting to be filled, but by whom?

One morning, almost on a whim, I chose another path: becoming a foster caregiver.

It was my way of keeping the door slightly open without rushing my grief, finding a new place for the love still within me, a love that hadn’t died with her.

If only you knew how much that choice brought me, how many doors it opened in my life and within me.

I met many different dogs, sometimes fragile, often touching. They broadened my perspective, patience, and listening. They reminded me every time that the bond never truly disappears—it remains a guiding thread, changing form, proving we can love again, often sooner than we think.

I didn’t foster these dogs to “forget” mine. I welcomed them with what my dog had left me—enough love and tenderness for others who needed it and the certainty that dogs help us find our way forward, even when we believe we can’t continue.

Loving what doesn’t last

Loving a dog means making a pact with impermanence. We know from the start that our time together is limited, but we still move forward because we recognize that each second shared is miraculous.

Yes, the loss is tough, but it’s never the end. It’s a pause, a breath, a threshold. It’s not about moving on; it’s about opening your heart again, differently—gently, consciously, and gratefully—fully honoring the one who gave you so much.

Two questions to ask yourself before welcoming a new dog into your life

No matter your situation or how strong the desire may be, if you’re thinking about bringing a new dog into your life not long after losing your previous companion, it’s worth taking a quiet moment to ask yourself two simple but important questions, and try to answer them as honestly as you can.

First: can you truly welcome this new dog for who they are, without comparing them to the one you lost? This dog, still a stranger to you, will have their own personality, their own way of loving, their quirks, their strengths, and their challenges. It will be a brand new story. Like in any new story, whether with a person or a pet, the biggest trap is comparison. It can hold you back from forming a real bond, and it can weigh heavily on a little soul who’s just arrived, full of hope and trust.

Second: are you ready to forgive their mistakes, the way you once forgave your last dog’s? You may not even remember it now, but your previous dog made mistakes too. They had to learn. You both did. That’s how the bond grew. This new dog will need the same time, the same patience, the same grace.

Bringing a new dog into your life is never about replacing the one you lost. It’s about making space in your heart for a new love story.

Toward a New Sun

If you’re hurting today, it’s because your dog made you deeply happy and a better person. Grief is only the shadow of all that joy. But as immense as that shadow is, it’s not a reason to shy away from new sunshine; instead, it’s precisely why you should move toward it, once again flooded by its warmth.

We both know nothing matters more than loving and being loved. So when it’s pure, unconditional love, like a dog’s, if you feel ready, please don’t hesitate. Don’t miss it. 🐾🖤

A Letter from a Senior Shelter Dog

It’s me, the old shelter dog. Maybe you saw me when you came by?
To be honest, I’m not exactly sure how long I’ve been here. Days? Weeks? Months? We dogs don’t count things the way you do. We don’t measure love in numbers. We measure time in absences, in silences, in heartbeats that no longer echo.

Sometimes I wonder if I was really loved as much as I thought I was. Did you love me? I’m not talking about feeding me, walking me, or petting me when it was convenient. I mean love—the kind where you can’t imagine life without someone, where you don’t want to imagine it. Loving with your whole heart, your whole soul, everything you live for… That’s how I loved you.

I gave you everything I had, you know.
Every time I waited behind the door. Every time you came home. Every time I followed you without hesitation, wherever you went. I was always there, by your side. Even on your bad days. Even when you were angry.
That’s just what dogs do.

But now, here I am. Alone. Without you. Without anyone.

People come and go, you know—the ones just passing through.
I see them walking along the kennels, hesitant, casual, unsure if they belong here. Sometimes they stop. I always wonder… was it curiosity? Was it because I wagged my tail? Because I looked up?

Some of them slip a finger through the bars, like they’re testing the water. Those are the ones who smile at me, say a few kind words, then move on. I listen to them laugh, mumble, or sigh as they disappear down the aisle.

Sometimes I watch them leave with another dog. A younger one. A smaller one. A cuter one. One of the lucky ones who checks all the boxes.
But I don’t hold it against them. I just wonder… what about me? Who’s going to stop in front of my kennel one day and not look at me with that mix of pity and apology?

I know I’m not young anymore. I don’t jump as high. I don’t run as fast. My muzzle’s gone white, and I sleep more than I used to. I’ve got my little habits, but honestly, who doesn’t, at my age?
Still, I have so much left to give.

I don’t need to run for hours anymore, I promise. I don’t need a mansion or a backyard paradise. I just want someone to love, and someone who’ll love me back.
Someone who’ll let me rest my head on their lap. Someone who’ll look at me with soft eyes. Someone who’ll say, “Come on, let’s go,” and mean me. Someone I’ll wait for, every single day, with the same old joy. Someone who’ll be happy to see me walk toward them. Someone who’ll know they can count on me, and who’ll let me count on them, too.

But I’m an old dog. A dog of the past. A dog from another time. One of those dogs people don’t really see anymore, don’t adopt anymore, don’t choose anymore. Not often. Sometimes, by chance, someone turns a corner, spots us, and thinks, “Why not?” But usually, it’s not.

Maybe I’ll live out the rest of my days here. Who knows. Like that old shepherd who left last night, after years of pretending to believe that every lingering glance meant hope.
Maybe my last days will be behind these bars, eating lukewarm food and listening to unfamiliar barks.
Maybe I’ll go quietly, too, in the middle of the night, with no one there to hold me. Maybe. But for now, I’m still here.

So if you ever walk by and pass my cage, just… look at me. Really look at me. Forget the bars. Forget the gray in my fur. Forget how old I am. Look at me, or at least what’s left of me, and maybe then, you’ll see it. Because that’s all that’s really left of an old dog: a heart that may be a little worn, a little tired, but still overflowing with love—for whoever’s willing to let me give it.

When Just Being a Dog No Longer Cuts It

Our expectations of dogs have become enormous. More and more, they’re modeled after how we humans function: logical, structured, goal-oriented, fast, efficient. But dogs never asked for any of this. They have no concept of performance, or objectives. They don’t understand the human obsession with what’s “good” or “bad.” All they want is to live alongside us, to play, to give and receive love, and they do it with their own kind of intelligence, with immense heart, and with skills we can’t even conceptualize.

Superhuman Skills That Should Inspire Humility

A dog can sense changes in your heart rate, detect elevated cortisol in your bloodstream, pick up on a pregnancy before the woman herself even knows, anticipate a seizure, detect cancer, perceive discomfort in a stranger across the room, and even sense harmful intentions. They pick up on our silences, our tension, our micro-expressions. They smell things from kilometers away, and all the scents we’ll never detect. They perceive more than they process, at least according to our criteria, and that’s what makes them so extraordinary. So why do we demand that a creature already so remarkable also be perfect by human standards?

Behind the Myth of the “Good Dog”

A lot of people want a “good dog.” But that phrase usually hides a long list of unspoken human expectations: they must tolerate being alone, not pull on the leash, not bark, not jump, stay off the couch unless invited, not chase pigeons, get along with every dog and every person, allow kids to climb on them and pull their ears, and obey instantly and joyfully, without hesitation or repetition. And if they like cats on top of all that, well, then they’re a real gem.

We expect dogs to fit in better than we’ve ever fit in anywhere. We expect them not to disturb, to adapt to our schedule, our space, our stress, our moods, our fatigue. But in that vision, where does the dog fit into all this? As a living, sentient being, with their own needs, boundaries, emotions, and language?

We measure our dog’s cognitive and emotional intelligence using human tools and standards: speed of execution, precision, memory, understanding, emotional regulation, optimism. But dogs aren’t smart like us, and certainly not for us. They are intelligent in their own way, and for themselves.

Every Dog Is a Good Dog—If We Stop Asking Them to Be Human

In my work as a behaviorist and trainer, I meet dogs whose humans say they have “behavioral problems,” that they’re “difficult,” that they “don’t listen,” or worst of all—that they’re “kind of dumb.” Nearly every time, the dog is simply misunderstood. Their needs aren’t being met, or no one has taken the time to teach them properly.

Before pointing out what’s “wrong” with the dog, I always start by helping the human realize they already have a good dog. I show them the dog’s intelligence, kind heart, eagerness, enthusiasm—in short, all the qualities that already make them exceptional.

The Dog: Always Judged Through Our Human Lens

We wouldn’t be surprised if a horse stepped on a basket or a couch without knowing the difference. And we easily understand that such a large animal needs to run, it’s in their nature. Likewise, no one protests the idea that wolves need to howl and live in packs. But when it comes to offering the same level of understanding to our dogs, there’s suddenly no one left in the room.

We Think We Know Dogs But We’ve Only Just Started Learning About Them

Humans have lived with dogs for thousands of years. From that, we’ve drawn the rather questionable conclusion that they should understand our rules, our intentions, and our worldview—this world that, to them, remains endlessly complex.

We ask them to understand so much, often without even considering whether they’re capable of doing so. Case in point: while science has studied lions, monkeys, and elephants for centuries, it only began to seriously research dogs at the very end of the 20th century. As if this proximity had somehow made them invisible.

Our Expectations Often Go Against a Dog’s Nature

A naturally social, active animal condemned to boredom and solitude

Some dogs are forbidden from entering the house, forced to live isolated from their family. Others, “luckier,” are expected to quietly accept that this tiny solo cushion in a dark corner of the living room is “THEIR bed,” while the couch is off limits.

Everyone does what they want, of course, but it’s essential to understand and accept a dog’s natural desire to access the family space. Like wolves, dogs are social animals, and for 15,000 years, we’ve trained them to enjoy our touch and companionship.

We’ve also taught them to live with us: guard dogs, herding dogs, hunting dogs… Those adopted into families had roles and responsibilities matching the jobs they were bred to do.

But we humans evolved—faster than you can say kibble—into 9-to-5 urban dwellers, and that shift came with the idea that anyone can own a dog, regardless of their lifestyle, living space, understanding of canine needs, or what they’re capable of offering the animal.

As a result, millions of dogs around the world are left alone for entire days, barely have their basic needs met, and yet are scolded or punished when they express anxiety caused by a lifestyle that runs counter to their most fundamental needs.

The Barking That Annoys Us Was Invented For Us

We ask dogs not to bark, or at least not too much, or too long, or too loudly. Yet barking is their natural mode of communication and they developed it specifically to communicate with humans. Their ancestor, the wolf, almost never barks.

When I was a kid—back in the last century and millennium—in Quebec where I’m from, some owners, tired of hearing their dogs bark at the gate, would have their vocal cords surgically cut. Thankfully, that mentality has evolved, but it shows just how far humans are willing to go for their own comfort, even at the expense of others’ wellbeing.

Dogs Walk Twice as Fast as We Do

Then there’s the leash. That infamous leash. That piece of rope linking our two worlds, a symbol of safety, yes, but also control, forcing dogs to match our frantic snail’s pace, even though their natural cruising speed is twice ours.*

Where We Impose Rules, Let’s Offer Kindness

I’m not saying we should all quit our jobs. I’m not saying no one with a career should own a dog. I’m not saying dogs shouldn’t be leashed in cities, or that it’s fine if they bark nonstop and annoy the entire neighborhood.

All I’m saying is this: it’s important to recognize the effort we ask of our dogs every day. To be aware of all the natural behaviors we expect them to suppress—for life—for reasons they cannot understand, only accept.

Acknowledging that living in our loud, stressful, inconsistent bipedal world, with rules that often run counter to their wellbeing, is a major challenge for them, will inevitably guide us toward a gentler, more patient, and more respectful way of educating them.

What If the Roles Were Reversed?

What would you do if your plane crashed in the jungle and your only chance of survival was to instantly adapt to that strange, foreign environment?

What if you landed in a wolf pack’s den with very clear, well-established rules, but had no idea how any of it worked?

What would you do if, disoriented, every time you tried to do something in your new gorilla family, the alpha grabbed you by the ankles and threw you ten meters away to show you “that’s not how it’s done”? Or if mama grizzly started screaming at you because you dared to take a piece of meat she’d left lying around?

“NO!!! I said NO!!! NOT ON THE BED!!!” – L’OURS / J. -J. ANNAUD

I don’t know you personally, so I can’t say exactly what you’d be thinking (probably something like “I knew I shouldn’t have booked Malaysia Airlines”), but here’s one thing I do know: you’d be absolutely miserable, constantly stressed, and feel like everyone expected way too much from you.

For More Compassion: Get Down to a Dog’s Level

To your dog, the couch is just a warm, comfortable place that smells like their human and where they could lie down close to their family. Of course they want to be there.

That delicious-smelling cookie, left unsupervised on that four-legged wooden structure humans call a “table”? It’s just an unclaimed resource, left on a thing that’s easy to climb. Of course they want it, and in their mind, they’re perfectly entitled to it.

When we leave in the morning, they don’t understand why we—the center of their world—vanish, leaving them behind. Everything in their being tells them they’re supposed to be with us, always, everywhere.

Their rules aren’t our rules. Their reference points and interpretations aren’t ours either. So it’s up to us to explain—with patience and gentleness—what we expect. Positive training isn’t just a nice idea or a philosophy, it’s a necessity. Something we owe them, in return for all the effort they make every day to adapt to us, our lifestyle, and our world, during their short lives.

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Loving a Dog Doesn’t Mean Changing Them, It Means Making Space for Them

In the end, maybe the real question isn’t: “Do I have a good dog?” but rather: “Have I made real space for them in my life?” Not a space that’s conditional on performance. Not the role of a well-trained background character. A real space, where they can be themselves: sniff, explore, sleep, play, love, grumble, communicate.

A dog doesn’t need to be perfect to be a good dog. They need to be understood, guided, gently supported, loved—and to love back. 🐾🖤

* Except for giant breeds, most dogs prefer to trot, which means they have to slow down from their natural average pace of 6 miles/h to our much slower average pace of 3 miles/h. Imagine spending your whole life walking at the speed of a 3-year-old holding your hand.

Dog-Lead Walks: How a Simple Walk Can Help Build a Deeper Bond with Your Dog

You step outside and your dog immediately stops. Not for a quick sniff, but for a long, intentional pause in front of a tuft of grass. Then, just as suddenly, she changes direction, following invisible trails in the air that only she can perceive. You follow, not rushing, not questioning. This is the heart of a dog-led walk: a walk with no destination, no agenda, just presence.

In this reversed kind of walk, it’s your dog who takes you out. She chooses the path, the pace, the pauses. What might otherwise feel like a routine turns into a ritual — one with six legs and two hearts. Neither a training session nor just a way to burn energy, this moment becomes fertile ground for trust to grow, for the human-dog connection to deepen. Your dog gains confidence — in herself, and in you — and you, in turn, are offered a rare opportunity to let go.

What it changes for your dog

Most leash walks follow the same pattern: the human leads, the dog follows. She adjusts to your step, stops when you stop, keeps going when she’d rather pause. In short, she goes along with the route without really choosing any of it. Even if she enjoys the outing, her instincts are often held back. A dog-lead walk shifts the balance. It gives her a sense of agency again.

When your dog leads the way, she activates her full sensory intelligence: tracking scents, choosing where to go, deciding when to stop, marking her territory, daring to explore. It’s no longer just physical movement, it becomes a full, rich, mental adventure. That structured freedom feeds not only her senses, but also her emotional well-being and her autonomy.

A dog who is given this kind of freedom gains confidence, partly because she feels listened to and respected, and partly because she’s free to explore unfamiliar paths. That sense of trust helps her handle fears with more ease, become more curious, regulate herself more naturally, and feel grounded in her environment.

She’s no longer just an extra on the walk, she becomes the one writing the story, becoming an active participant in her own walk, therefore in her own life.

A powerful alternative where off-leash isn’t an option

In some parts of the world, this way of walking takes on even more meaning. In North America, for instance, where dogs often aren’t allowed off-leash, even in green spaces, where everything is fenced, regulated, and supervised, the leash can sometimes be their only space for expression.

In that kind of context, the dog-lead walk offers your dog the impression that she still has a say in where he’s going. Even when tethered, she still chooses. It’s not absolute freedom. It’s not better than a free run in nature. But it feels like freedom. And for an animal navigating a human-made world full of rules and restrictions, that little pocket of choice can change everything.

What it changes for you

This isn’t just transformative for your dog, it’s a shift for you, too. Accepting to follow your dog without directing means agreeing to slow down instead of rushing, to observe rather than control, to listen instead of speak, to let go rather than manage.

It invites a shift, not just in pace, but in state of mind. You stop walking to tick a box or to burn energy. You start walking to simply be together, at your dog’s pace. Within that shift, an unexpected stillness opens up.

Dog-led walks reconnect you to the present. You begin to notice things again — light through leaves, a shift in the wind, the quiet wonder of your dog just being a dog. And yes, there’s joy in not knowing where you’re going. Letting someone else, someone small, furry, and full of instinct, be your guide opens a different kind of freedom. Not the kind you take, but the kind you receive.

What it builds between you

The real magic happens in the space between you.

A different kind of bond begins to take shape — not a top-down relationship, but something horizontal, fluid, responsive.

Connection isn’t built on commands anymore, well executed or not, but on a shared rhythm you learn to find together. You start noticing who your dog really is — her pace, her preferences, her impulses — by reading her quiet signals: a long pause to make sure she’s fully decoded every molecule of scent on a single blade of grass, a sideways glance to check you haven’t disappeared into a hole ten steps back, a subtle tension in the leash that reshapes the journey in a whole new way. And your dog, in turn, learns that she’s allowed to be herself without being corrected every time she takes a detour.

This kind of relationship, built on mutual attention and shared observation, continues to ripple beyond the walk. Your dog becomes more attentive to you, simply because she feels you are more attentive to her. This reciprocal respect forms the basis of a deeper, more fluid connection. One that doesn’t rely on control, but on quiet listening.

How to get started with dog-lead walks

You don’t need to live in the countryside to try this kind of walk. Just a bit of calm and intention. Here are a few simple guidelines to begin:

• Choose a quiet place: a calm street, a quiet park, a forest trail. What matters is being away from traffic, noise, and heavy foot traffic.
• Use a long leash: from a 3-meter leash (about 10 feet — which, by the way, should be your everyday go-to) to a 10-meter long line (about 33 feet — which does take some practice to handle), to give your dog space without compromising safety.
• If possible, have a dedicated leash: a leash that looks or feels different from your regular one. This helps your dog recognize the shift. She’ll know: this is a different kind of walk, one where she gets to decide.
• Let her guide you: don’t pull or redirect unless there’s a real need. Just watch. Follow. Let her sniff, mark, explore, pause.

• Put in as much energy as you can: try to match your dog’s pace as often as possible, and if it pushes you a little, hey, it’s good for your cardio 😉. Dogs aren’t built to walk at our average human speed. While we cruise along at 4–5 km/h (2.5–3 mph), your dog’s natural pace is more like 8–9 km/h (5–5.5 mph). Imagine having to spend your whole life walking at the pace of your two-year-old child or your 95-year-old grandmother and you’ll get a sense of the quiet frustration your dog feels every day.

• Stay present: no phone, no distractions. Your body language, your pace, your attention — that’s how you speak on this walk.

A simple walk, a complete philosophy

Embracing dog-lead walks isn’t just about trying a new technique. It’s about shifting the way we see our dogs. It’s about choosing not to control everything, not to interpret everything, and opening up to the idea that the other — even a dog — might sometimes be the better guide.

It’s also a way to apply, in real life, the principles of canine ethology: recognizing that a dog’s behavioral needs go far beyond just getting walked and being told what to do. They include freedom of movement, of scent, of choice.

What you’ll get in return is a relationship that breathes easier. A dog who trusts more. A human who pays closer attention. And a connection that becomes a quiet alliance — respectful, mutual, and rooted in presence.

The leash, no longer a tool of tension, becomes something else entirely: a soft line of trust, gently linking two beings who no longer need to pull in opposite directions. 🐾🖤

I may be small, but “small dog” still means dog!

This is a heartfelt declaration on behalf of all the small dogs in the world who are secretly despairing.

Small, not insignificant

People often assume that small dogs need less mental and physical stimulation. That’s completely wrong. Chihuahuas, for example, are incredibly smart and endlessly curious. Just because a dog fits in a bag doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get to explore the world. Discovery and stimulation are not optional extras, they’re essential.

No matter the size, all dogs need:

• • Regular socialization (with other dogs, humans, and environments)
  • Mental stimulation (scent work, training, hide-and-seek, chew toys, food puzzles)
  • Physical exercise appropriate to their breed and energy level
  • Freedom of movement to sniff, roam, and be a dog

And no, a walk in the garden, a ride in a purse, or being carried in your arms does not replace a real walk.

Common mistakes with small dogs

Why constantly carrying your dog backfires

Picking up your dog every time there’s a noise, a passing dog, or a loud sidewalk is like pulling a child out of the playground at the first sign of a disagreement: they never get to learn. Dogs need to experience the world in order to understand it. If they’re always lifted away, they can’t process, adapt, or gain confidence. Instead, they stay fearful.

The result? Insecure attachment, separation anxiety, and reactivity. It’s not cute, it’s hard for the dog, and hard for you.
“But he’s scared of other dogs!”
Yes, because he’s never had a chance to meet them properly, on the ground, nose to nose. Dogs learn through experience, not by hovering above reality like fragile little statues.

The cost of overprotecting your small dog

Treating your small dog like a human baby creates confusion about roles. A dog needs a calm, predictable guide. Instead, he becomes dependent on an anxious human who overreacts to every perceived threat.

Typical behaviors include:

• • Following you everywhere, even to the bathroom
  • Panicking when you leave the room
  • Barking or growling at strangers or dogs
  • Snapping at people who approach you when he’s in your arms

This isn’t your dog being difficult. He’s overwhelmed. Often, it’s a side effect of love expressed in the wrong way.

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Moka: small in size, big in potential

One of my first tiny clients was Moka, a sweet little Maltese, nervous, tense, and unsure of everything. I walked her once or twice a day. Her owner just didn’t want her left alone too long, but for me, it became a mission. I walked her like I would a big dog, like a mini German Shepherd: exploring, meeting new dogs, trying new things, taking on small challenges. It wasn’t just exercise—it was socialization, confidence-building, and real-world learning. She played with giant dogs, hiked, met cows, sniffed every leaf and pole she could. By the end of the day, I had a nearly brave, joyful little dog on the leash.

But every morning, it was like starting from scratch. Why? Because when she was with her owner, Moka was always carried. At the first sign of another dog, her leash would tighten with anxiety, and she’d be scooped up like someone hitting the emergency eject button. No mental stimulation. No real training. No physical activity. No freedom. No adventure. She wasn’t pampered, she was smothered. And yet, with a little trust and freedom, she absolutely came to life. All she needed was one thing: for us to remember that she was a dog, not a doll or a baby.

Small dog breeds: calm-looking and high-energy

Yes, some breeds like Shih Tzus or Cavalier King Charles Spaniels have gentler temperaments and lower activity needs. But even they require stimulation, social interaction, and the freedom to move.

Just because a dog likes to lie beside you doesn’t mean they should live like a piece of furniture.

Other breeds — Pinschers, Pomeranians, Poodles, Chihuahuas, Yorkies, Dachshunds, and so on — are lively, intelligent, and curious. Their small size hides a lot of energy, and they need just as much mental and physical exercise as any other dog.

The real needs of small dogs (spoiler: same as every other dog)

Mental stimulation is a must

A tiny dog doesn’t have tiny brain activity. They need to think, solve problems, explore, and most importantly: sniff.

• • Scent games (snuffle mats, scent boxes, trails) help focus their energy and tap into their most powerful sense: smell.
  • Puzzle toys, treat dispensers, and hide-and-seek (with people or objects) boost focus, curiosity, and independence.
  • Chewing is often overlooked but essential. It calms, soothes, and occupies. From natural chews to filled toys, it’s an easy way to reduce stress, prevent boredom, and support emotional regulation.

A dog that thinks is a dog that’s calmer, more emotionally stable, and easier to live with, whether they weigh 5 pounds or 90.

Physical activity still matters

Small dogs need to move, and not just across the living room rug, from purse to pillow.

They need to walk, run, climb, and feel different textures under their paws.

• • A real walk isn’t a quick pee break. It’s a time for exploration, freedom, and sniffing the world.
  • Smelling things is crucial. Their nose is how they understand the world. Every pole and blade of grass holds stories.
  • Climbing over logs, hopping onto rocks, it’s all part of being a dog. Sure, you adapt the challenge to their body, but you still give them the experience.

A small dog that’s always carried is a small dog that’s frustrated — robbed of what it needs to feel alive.

Play is not optional

Play isn’t a bonus. It’s how dogs learn, bond, decompress, and thrive.

• • Training games like recall, hide-and-seek, or tricks build trust and focus.
  • Social play with friendly dogs helps them practice canine communication and release tension.
  • Even little dogs need fetch, tug, chase, and search games — just tailored to their size.

Socializing your small dog the right way

Socializing doesn’t mean dropping your dog into a crowd and it’s absolutely not clutching him like he’s about to be mugged every time another dog shows up.

Good socialization means:

• • Letting your dog choose: to sniff, to approach, or to watch from a distance
  • Offering calm, balanced dog interaction
  • Learning to read body language: yawns, turning away, freezes, wags, blinks, bow
  • Anticipating situations by understanding these signals, and guiding your dog through them without turning him into a helpless toddler

Picking up your dog every time another one walks by teaches him that the ground is unsafe. Over time, he can become an anxious, frustrated, and reactive dog. But on the ground, with support and space, he can learn to handle the world. He can build confidence. Curiosity. Peace.

Training: not just for the big guys

Small dogs are just as capable of learning as big ones. They can follow rules, routines, and expectations — if you take the time to teach them gently and consistently.

• • Build focus and strengthen your bond together
  • Work on separation calmly and gradually
  • Practice leash walking and basic commands
  • Play. Train. Explore. Scent games, puzzles, and fun tricks… it all counts.
  • Reinforce calm, curious behavior
  • Teach him to walk on a leash. Just because he’s easy to handle doesn’t mean you should skip this step or drag him along to make him follow you. A small dog also has a mind of his own, feelings, and preferences. He likes to make choices and deserves to be respected, just like the big ones.

Emotional security doesn’t come from being with you 24/7. It comes from having a safe, stable world where they can exist without panic. That, too, is love.

Testimony from Peanut, a clear-headed Chihuahua

“My name is Peanut. I’m a Chihuahua. And I’m tired of being treated like a houseplant. I have four legs, a nose like a truffle pig, and the heart of a lion. I want to go out and sniff the world like everyone else. I’m not fragile, I’m just small. There’s a difference. But it’s getting blurry, because I spend my life being carried, bundled up, pampered, and kept from doing dog things. Take me for real walks. I’ll love you even more for it.”

Small dog, big responsibility

Treating a small dog like it’s fragile means projecting human fears onto it. And though it comes from love, it often leads to the opposite of what we want: anxiety, frustration, and behavior problems.

But give that dog freedom, give it structure, give it adventure, space, and trust, and you’ll get back something incredible. A small dog, balanced and brave. And that’s true happiness. 🐾🖤

Video: Proof that bravery isn’t measured in inches. This is Obi-Wan, the French chihuahua who’s every bit a shepherd 🙂

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